REVISED OXFORD DICTIONARY

Good morning bloggers - here's hoping that you have a fabulous day!

Revised Oxford Dictionary


Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.


Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either


Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybodybelieves he got the biggest piece.


Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power


Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.


Divorce : Future tense of marriage.


Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.


Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."


Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


Father : A banker provided by nature.


Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.


Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.


Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you with his bills.

my favourite..Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.