Elephants fed to cash crocs
March 11 2007 at 10:41AM
By Eleanor Momberg
Hope you all have a fantabulous day, and that your life begins every day when you awake!
Hi all, hope you enjoy the Sunday funnies!
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ! ! ! "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at
a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
Good Grief! Once again the average Joe is being targeted by unscrupulous cell phone companies! Sometimes I feel that we have to put ourselves under lock and key, just to be able to draw a breath in peace and quiet!
Take care out there - they are all after our hard earned cash!
Cellphone users should study their policy
September 28 2006 at 12:16PM
By Consumer Editor
Cellphone insurance usually gives only very limited protection, so be sure to study your policy carefully to avoid unwelcome surprises when you try to make a claim. The website for the Office of the Ombudsman for Short-term Insurance says many cellphones bought on credit, or in terms of a rental contract, include a monthly insurance premium, although it is not always clear when the insurance is a voluntary addition or has to be taken out in terms of the contract. Advice from the ombudsman is to insist on being given a complete copy of the insurance policy, to which you are legally entitled.
Also get the full name and address of the insurance company underwriting the policy, as well as the contact details of any intermediary authorised to deal with you, issue the policy and receive your premiums. Exclusions usually include
If the cellphone is stolen from your car, there will be no cover unless it was kept in a locked cubbyhole or in a locked boot.
There will be no cover unless at the time of the loss the cellphone was being carried on your person.
There will be no cover if the circumstances of the loss show that you "failed to take proper care of the instrument".
There will be no cover unless the theft is immediately reported to the police. After studying the policy, if you have any choice, it could be worth your while to contact your own broker or insurer to try to find a better deal, or to possibly include the cellphone as a specified item on your house-contents policy.
This article was originally published on page 26 of Cape Argus on September 28, 2006
This, in essence is bribery clothed in one of it's many forms! It should not be allowed to continue and the opposition parties should be jumping up and down in rightous indignation!
The Bottom Line
For some reason or another, this post did not show on Wednesday, my apologies. Here it is again.
My name is Nikki Viljoen and I own a Company called Viljoen Consulting. I am an Internal Auditor and Business Administration Specialist here in Gauteng in South Africa and I am very good at what I do!
You may be wondering why it is that I have decided to start my own blog and why it is that I call it “When Reality Bites”. Catchy name don’t you think?
Well you see it is like this…. So many of us go through life – usually with blinkers on and then when the brown stuff hits the fan, the most commonly used phrase is “why me?” – my usual response to that is “Well why not you?”. Somewhat harsh you may think, but hell, that is just the reality of the situation.
We all have heard and are familiar with the saying “Knowledge is Power”. Well I would like to disagree with that statement. “Why” you may well ask – well think about it for a moment. If you had all the knowledge in the world – exactly what would you have – certainly not power – in fact I would be so bold as to say that you have …. Exactly nothing!
Okay, so now that I have heard the pin drop throughout the world, in shocked and stunned silence, let me explain myself. The true reality is that it’s not the knowledge that is the power, it is what you do with that knowledge that is so powerful!
This blog is to try and inform you of what is happening out there in the big world. The kinds of fraud, scams etc that are taking place so that you have the Power to prevent them from happening to you too. Articles on what is happening around the world, so that we don’t all have to go on living in a “mushroom” world. It’s not all doom and gloom though as I intend to have some motivational stuff, a few quotes thrown in, some perception altering stuff, some fun stuff in the form of really good jokes and even some of the amusing things that I have done in my life.
So sit back, if you will, enjoy the ride and please feel free to comment about all that is posted, and even some of the stuff that you would like to see posted.
Most of all have fun.
Hoping that you have an awesome, fantabulous day and may the Gods (whomever you perceive them to be) grant you all that you wish for yourself … in great abundance.