On the upside, and although it can be a pain in the rear end, this has also resulted in me taking minutes and/or notes everytime I am in any kind of discussion and/or meeting. Time after time, this practice has proved to be invaluable - especially when a disagreement arises on who said what and who was responsible for what etc.
Perhaps that is the way that we have to go now - writing everything down so that even if we are not listening properly, we have some sort of idea of what is going on in our own lives - makes the whole idea of the written word somewhat more important now, don't you think.
Regards
Nikki
08 November 2006 at 11h00
By John Mullins
When you consider the way things are changing in the world you start to realise that people are becoming as bewildered as a bumble-bee in a bouquet of buttercups. Phew! OK, maybe that was a weak poetic effort, but people are subjected to so many demands for their attention that I honestly think we don't know which way to look any more.
The number of people that tell me they don't get a chancte to sit down and think is increasing all the time. Just when you think you have a moment, something or someone else grabs your attention. The problem is that you don't pay enough attention to take everything in. Whether you are sitting in a meeting or having a conversation, it seems that there is always something else that occupies your mind. Whatever it is, there is no doubt that people are losing their ability to remain focused.
The impact of this is that we become less effective - not only in our jobs but also in making decisions that could impact on our careers and our lives.
How many of you have at some point heard the phrase, "he was listening but he didn't hear me"? The meaning of this phrase can be found in the now common practice of selective hearing, or in the ever- popular "pretend to care" behaviour you see in the workplace.
This insincere and superficial attempt of people to show that they are listening is often coupled with statements such as, "I hear you," and "I understand what you are saying."
Maybe you're a little confused here. Surely if you say those things you must be listening, right?
Well, actually, wrong! You see, true listening skill, which is a lost art, demands much more than little reactive statements that can be more annoying than helpful.
Well, actually, wrong! You see, true listening skill, which is a lost art, demands much more than little reactive statements that can be more annoying than helpful.
In truth, the other person's mind is probably occupied with so much other junk that your thoughts and feelings are being processed with as much enthusiasm as an annual trip to the dentist.
It may be important to you, but on the surface you're just another tick on the "have to do" list.
So, how can you make sure that when you speak, others are listening? I think the answer lies on a number of levels. First, the time you choose to have a conversation about something as important as your career should be planned well in advance. Eliminate all the distractions. Also make sure that your audience is ready. Ask them if they are prepared to listen attentively and without interruption. It is also important to create the right space for respectful and sincere listening. Maintain eye contact with the other person. Take moments in the conversation to summarise your thoughts and feelings. Constantly ensure that there is common understanding. It is also important that you clarify with the other person whether you are looking for a solution or whether you are looking for a sympathetic ear. Whatever your need, remember that without the right motivation and the right environment, people may appear to be listening, but they are not hearing you.
This simple communication breakdown could be the seed that undermines your career growth. Why? Because you'll assume that other people understand you, when, in fact, they may have no clue about your true feelings. In that case you may want to give them an earful.
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