SUNDAY FUNNIES

Have a great Sunday and don't forget to smile!

The following questions and answers were collated from last year's British GCSE exams._

*_Geography_*


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.


Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends toflow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.


*_Sociology_*
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.


Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.


Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


*_Biology_*
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A: Premature death.


Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. [He got an A!]


Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains theheart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,Oand U.


Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.


Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.


Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.


Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.


Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.


Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.


Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like >umbrellas.


*_English_*
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand itsmeaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.


Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.