LAWS OF ATTRACTION

I know it's Wednesday - but here are the Sunday funnies!

Laws of attraction

ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular person.


LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.


DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.


BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men or spending time around children.


EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.


PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin until married.


EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.


FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.


INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."


INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.


IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.


LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.


NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.


FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than lifting her nightgown.


SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.


NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more to her life with him than just intercourse.